Still Going ...

Ruben and I are watching the images of Paris today while we wait at the Whittington (10 pm) with a problem in his picc line. It was leaking blood while we were watching The History Boys. ( was a revelation to show him that). 

It feels an aeon since Chanukah but since then Ruben had cycle 4 of chemo. Which was fairly jolly to receive onChristmas Eve, nurses in onesies and quality streets practically given intravenously. But sick nonetheless. By 8.45 pm when chemo is still not finished I question why he's an out patient on long days. He feels worse getting home. So holidays were actually full of post chemo sickness but it was nice with sisters and cousins by the sea. And the most unexpected new year I would have imagined, Ruben poorly in bed while we toasted him with prosecco and quails eggs. He then revived dancing to Michael Jackson while we help him think about his wish from Starlight . A game of tennis with Rafael Nadal?
I had time off and it was good for us all to be out of London with wind blowing in our faces, and tree top walks at moor valley park. But I'm mostly back at FPS and feeling positive about our work together. These are strange times personally and even more so publically and the synagogue feels more important than ever. 

Now we're trying to enter 2015 with energy and optimism.  The same battle with school, who are immensely patient. Ruben is sad and describes the steroid effects as 'too heavy to bear'. It's painful watching his tears particularly in the mornings when he feels worse. Intellectually he says he knows it's going to finish soon but right now it's too hard.  We're planning with M and D a celebratory moment of sunshine. I hope we can get insurance for him. My concerns feel surreal.
Dora begged me to start cooking daily again. I think understandably for her, food = parenting. So I need to return to the kitchen.